Flapping reminds me of 'Dumbo the Elephant' with big ears.
Everyone laughed at him because he was different.
Until one day they recognised he was something extra special.
Flapping is probably an uncontrolled expression of joy/excitement.
A sort of, unconcious clapping expression to oneself.
However it could mean more, any kind of stress release, or attempts to increase circulation.
Is behaviour, a reflection of someone elses expectations, in his current environment?
ABA call it a 'stim'.
Lovaas says that Behaviour is communication and has intent.
You may be able to extinguish the behavior, but another will emerge to address the same intent.
Flapping doesn't really hurt anybody, especially at a young age. But as he
grows, IF it does not resolve itself (and it very likely will), you may want
to address the flapping because it makes him stand out. Once he gets to be,
say ten or more, it may be desirable for him to "behave & look as if normal".
It is typical, at that age, if sufficiently developed,
for kids to suppress themselves in favor of fitting in.
At that point, you might say something like "I know a guy who liked to flap
his hands but found out that people thought it looked weird, so when he was
around other people, he ---" and then fill in a substitute behavior, such as
slipping his hands under his thighs while sitting, for the pressure. Or you
could give him a set of those Chinese accupressure stress balls to roll around
in his hand.
At this age, I wouldn't worry about the social implications of hand flapping.
At this point, your son is addressing a need that he has. Even if you make
the flapping go away, you will not make the need go away. Rather, look at
this as his secret code for asking you to help him with his sensory needs.
When he flaps, you can model appropriate language like, "That's so exciting!"
or "Oh look! Judy is here!" or whatever he is saying. You can also massage
his hands, or give him a nubby or spiky ball to rub his hands on, or use some
other OT strategies.
ABA (Lovaas) and Option/SonRise (Kaufman) are remarkably similar in
techniques, but differ widely in philosophy. Lovaas' says, "I am not a
philosopher. I do what works to give these kids a chance at participating in
the world." He is strictly a behavioral scientist: he advocates whatever
works best to normalize the child's behavior. He does not and will not
discuss what is happening in their minds or souls.
Kaufman says, "Loving someone means being happy with them just as they are.
It means believing that they have a divine inner self that knows exactly what
they need, and guides them on the path from who they are to who they are
becoming. Whatever they do, you must have faith that it is the right thing.
Do not pass judgment and try to change them, but offer them acceptance, and
offer them options about how to express their needs and get them met."
Both men would address this behavior in the same way: leave it alone unless
it is a problem. Go ahead and work on what you're working on. (Lovaas might
say, "Work through the behavior. Extinguish the behavior," while Kaufman
might say, "He's doing fine.") If flapping interferes, figure out what
purpose it is serving, and teach other behaviors that serve that purpose as
well or better. For Lovaas, this is what will work best. For Kaufman, this
is respecting your child, and bringing yourself happiness and peace.
I find Kaufman to be supportive, and Lovaas to be clear. They are two sides
of the same coin, I think. - Wendy from Denver
Echoed by Neil
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